Mistaken for Ed
by BarthVader
Summary: Edd and Marie are on a date! Why? Well, Double D has a few reasons for inviting her, not all of them romantic. Very loosely based on a deleted story of the same name.


**A/N: This is loosely based on one of my deleted stories of the same name. The ending got changed a bit, so you might check it out anyway.**

**Of course I own EEnE. That's why Kankers were such insufferable cunts. Blame me for it.**

Bart's Pizzeria was a small restaurant run for generations by a small Italian family that arrived to Peach Creek in late twenties. Despite heavy competition it managed to stay in business without major problems.

In this restaurant by one of the tables was sitting a couple.

The boy was wearing a red shirt, purple shorts and blue trainers. His head was covered with a black hat, from which stuck out long blond hair, which he let out since the BPS. Apart from this, his overall psychical appearance didn't change much. He remained rather thin and frail. His voice was still high-pitched for a man his age.

Opposite him sat a girl, wearing a black tank top, khaki trousers and black sandals. She had blue hair, and her fringe covered her right eye, which had a scar on it, due to an accident with the soda bottle (or so she claimed). Apart from that, to put it in a T-rated manner, her 17 years were barely visible on her chest and she felt a little bit insecure because of this.

"So, Marie, did you enjoy that film?" Edd tried to strike a conversation.

"Yeah, it was fun." She answered absent-mindedly. "And you?"

"It was a piece of low-brow entertainment, which I nevertheless found enjoyable." The boy answered in his typical manner.

"Yeah, that's great." the girl said. She was clearly thinking about something else.

"Marie?"

"Yeah?"

"Is... is there something that troubles you?"

The girl let out a big sigh. "Why did you invite me on this date?"

Judging by his expression, the boy was slightly taken aback by this question.

"W-why not? I mean, i-is there something wrong with me asking you out?" Edd said.

"Not by itself," she started, "but, y'know, it seems kinda weird to me. I mean, we never were really on good terms. Even after the mess with that bastard (Marie refused to address Eddy's brother differently) we were more like frenemies than anything else. And now you walk to my trailer, flowers and all, and take me on a date. Kinda suspicious, dont'cha think?"

"What's s-suspicious in me finally starting actively looking for a partner?" Edd stuttered, feeling uneasy..

"I dunno. It just seems odd..."

The girl looked down, as if her nail job suddenly became interesting. After a few seconds of awkward silence she looked up and snapped her fingers.

"I got it!"

"Really?" The boy looked at her, surprised. "So, why do you think I decided to invite you?"

Marie put on a playful smirk.

"You need to cover your relationship with Eddy, don't you?" She joked.

Edd's cheerful-if-nervous demeanor disappeared instantly. His expression suddenly became stern.

"Yes, of course." he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm "I'm in a polyamorous relationship with Ed and Eddy and decided to add a girl into the mix. Wanna join?"

The girl felt slightly nervous. Even in their stalker/stalkee days the boy hadn't been as bitter as he was now.

"Why people cannot comprehend that I am heterosexual?!" Edd continued, raising his voice a little bit. "I enjoy whatever the modern society considers attractive in a woman! For Pete's sake, just because my voice is high-pitched and I don't take part in the so-called 'manly' activities, I must be attracted to men?"

"A pain in the ass, eh?" Marie tried to break the tension with a joke. Judging by Edd's death glare, she failed miserably.

"Okay, no more gay jokes." She retreated. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it's such a problem to you."

Noticing Marie's nervousness, the boy calmed down a bit and sighed.

"I apologize for my overblown reaction." Edd looked down in shame. "You know, at first I was laughing at this, just like you. But after a couple months, when Kevin refused to address me, Ed and Eddy in any other way but 'tromance' and my parents asked me to invite my alleged 'boyfriend' to dinner, I knew I had to do something with it."

"So, you need me to show the world you're straight." Marie said, not bothering to hide disappointment in her voice. "So why haven't you asked that blond chick, what's-her-name?"

"I don't know." He replied. "But I know why I have invited _you__._"

Edd grabbed her hand.

"You're astute. You're bold. You're charming. I know that if I'll get in trouble, I can depend on you. You have some flaws, – no, I'm not talking about your breasts – but I am willing take a risk and try to help you deal with them while improving myself, because, well, that's what people do in a serious relationship. Or at least I think so."

Marie let go of Edd's hand and grabbed a menu so as to cover her blushing.

"And if I dared to invite somebody other than you, you'd have punched them in the throat." He added, half-jokingly.

"Hey!"

"Excuse me." A third person joined the conversation.

The duo turned to see a waiter standing near their table.

"Is there a problem, sir?" The boy asked.

"I'm afraid..." The man started "...that I must ask you to leave."

"Wha... why?" Edd asked, surprised.

"You see," the waiter replied – your personal choices are none of my business... but... my supervisor forces me to remove you from the restaurant."

"Why?" Marie repeated the question.

The waiter remained silent.

"Okay, what did your boss tell you?" – the girl was getting slightly annoyed.

"He told me... and those are his words, not mine..."

The man took a deep breath.

"...to kick out those lesbians from table 12."

Edd groaned and facepalmed.

"We. Are. A. Straight. Couple." Marie growled."A boy and a girl."

"O kurwa." The waiter cursed under his breath. "My sincere apologies... I really didn't mean to..."

"Could we please change the subject?" Edd said, upset. "I think I am ready to place my order."

"Of course!" The man turned to him. "What do you desire, young lady?"

The boy hid his face in his hands, resigned. "A glass of quicksilver, please."


End file.
